When it comes down to it, what do you think is most important in your appeal letter? Is it the ask and all of its little particulars, like the timing, how many times, and structure? The use of “you” versus we? It’s almost too easy to get bogged down in the do’s and don’t’s of appeal letter writing. But it’s important to not let them paralyze you. While they’re certainly likely to cross your radar, don’t let them be your central focus. Instead, ask yourself this question:
Does this appeal letter tell an emotionally compelling story that makes the reader feel? Does it tug at the heartstrings and inspire donors to give?
Well, in the case of Big Bend Hospice’s appeal letter, I think you’ll agree that, without question, it makes you not only feel, but it inspires you to feel intensely. The envelope used to deliver the 
letter captured my attention. On the outside, it reads: Ever seen an angel? I have. It’s not what you think… And then, the letter inside captured my heart. I picked up on how emotionally-compelling this gem was from the start, but the letter is an extraordinarily successful one from start to finish. But it begins with…
No father should have to bury his child.
It’s not hard to see why, before long, I felt myself get all choked up and tearful, is it?
According to BBH’s Executive Director, Nigel E. Allen:
Like most not-for-profits, Big Bend Hospice sends out an end-of-year direct mail piece to invite donors to support its mission during the holiday season. Our philosophy has been to invite a family member who has been touched by our mission to share their experience and do so in their own voice. This year we created an accompanying YouTube video to cross promote the letter and include on several social media platforms. My fundraising mantra consists of four words — facts tell, stories sell. Our hope is that this year’s story will inspire more people than ever to support the essential work we do for our community.
Stephen’s father, Carl, has told us all about how his beloved 29 year-old son was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. How during Stephen’s (and Carl’s) roughest hours, the enduring efforts from Diane at Big Bend Hospice provided him and his son with nurturing love, empathy, emotional support, warm hugs, and so much more. Carl provides a world of insight on how BBH came into his life, what they did for him and Stephen, and why Carl continues his relationship today, while asking us to give to the special place that has given him so much.
I don’t need to say much about the story of Stephen, but I hope I’ve conveyed to you, in some small way, the emotional impact it had on me. Really, the best way you’ll understand is if you read it yourself. Because the story was always at the heart of the matter. It was the foundation of the letter from the very beginning. It set the stage for the ask, allowing seamless transition from the story to the ask. And that’s because the ask is woven into the story. We hear about Carl’s life today and see that his relationship with BBH is ongoing. We know why. I could not resist the urge to give, because this is one of the most emotionally compelling, inspiring, and deeply personal letters I’ve ever come across.
Big Bend Hospice is a Basics & More™ alum.
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I can’t wait to meet with you personally.
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